A Despreate Attempt to Entertain
by Retaw
Summary: The YuGiOh cast is stuck doing a the classic story of, 'Sleeping Beauty' against their will. With me as the director! Only things don't turn out exactly hope I hoped they would, and chaos insues! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!
1. Lady Luck Abandoned Them

Author- ^_^ Hi everybody!  
  
All- *groans*  
  
Author- I was having a REALLY bad writer's block on my story so I decided to start a new one for the time being.  
  
Author- Just to- you know, get my mind off things and THEN GET PLEAGED WITH WONDERFULL STROKES OF GENIUS! *evil laugh*  
  
Caitlin- *scoots away slowly*  
  
Author- OH YEAH! *grabs Caitlin and pulls her next to her*  
  
Caitlin- *is trapped* -.-;;  
  
Author- THIS is my very first YGO fanfic character CAITLIN WHATSHERNAME!  
  
Caitlin- *nervous smile and wave* Hi.  
  
Author- She's the one I've been torturing the entire time I write fanfics! She's named and based after a Caitlin I knew in Irish Dancing classes, only that Caitlin left and moved to New York.  
  
Author- *has long pause, is thinking about something* I miss Irish Dancing lessons....  
  
Caitlin- *is still in Author's grip and is trying to get out* Uh, hello?  
  
Author- *snaps out of it* Sorry about that. ANYWAY this fic is called, A DESPRATE ATTEMPT TO ENTERTAIN.  
  
Ryou- I don't like the sound of that.  
  
Caitlin- *sighs* You're going to find some way to torture me again aren't you?  
  
Author- YUPERS! ^_^ ANYWAY, this was just something I did for fun, so please don't take it TOO seriously, just read it if you're bored and want to laugh cause I made it so you'd have something that might brighten your day.  
  
Caitlin- Not mine.  
  
Author- Well nobody cares about you anyway.  
  
Caitlin's Yami- I care.  
  
Author- ¬¬ You do not you're just hoping to get some kind of a reward.  
  
C.Yami- So close.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Caitlin- Please?  
  
All- No.  
  
Caitlin- Please?  
  
All- No.  
  
Caitlin- Please please please PUH-LEAZE?  
  
Tristen- For the fifty second time no.  
  
Caitlin- *pouts* Why not?  
  
Tea- I'm not going to make a fool of myself on television.  
  
Caitlin- You WON'T make a fool of yourself! That's what the scripts are for!  
  
Yugi- Listen Caitlin, if you want to be casted on a stupid television show for one day, be my guest, but WE aren't going to do it.  
  
Caitlin- *whimpers* BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE!  
  
Tristen- No.  
  
Caitlin- *fake smile* But it's one thing to make a fool of yourself ALONE, it's another thing to make a fool of yourself WITH FRIENDS!  
  
C.Yami- Well, I'm not one of your 'friends' so I get off Scott free! ^ ^  
  
Caitlin- No, you're my Yami, so your stuck doing it anyway.  
  
C.Yami- Shoot.  
  
Caitlin- *is begging* PLEASE GUYS IT'S JUST ONE SPECIAL AND I HAVE TO DO IT AND I WANT SOMEONE TO COME WITH ME!  
  
Joey- No offence Caitlin, but you'd have to gag and handcuff us just to get us into the building.  
  
**Hour Later, When the Gang gets all their Handcuffs and Gags Off**  
  
Everyone but Caitlin- *glares at her*  
  
Caitlin- I had to get you here somehow!  
  
Author- *comes in* HI EVERYBODY! I'm your director! *Takes off baseball cap that says, 'Author' and puts on another that says 'Director'*  
  
Ryou- *turns pale* Oh please not you.  
  
Director- That's right! I'm going to be your director AND the author! ^ ^  
  
Everyone- *glares at Caitlin again*  
  
Caitlin- *gives them a 'How was I supposed to know' look*  
  
Director- Alright, this production of 'Sleeping Beauty' will be viewed all over the world with different language subtitles, your movie star career depends on how well you perform on stage today! AND please make a mental note that I don't have much film left so each shot only gets a few do overs, be sure to have your part perfect by the time you go on stage. ^^ So no pressure!  
  
Everyone- *turns white*  
  
Director- Oh yeah, and NO YAMIS.  
  
All the Yamis- *smirk at their 'hosts' and leave*  
  
Director- *in megaphone* ALRIGHT! QUIET ON THE SET! WE'RE GOING TO SHOW SENE ONE OF SLEEPING BEAUTY! *hands out scripts*  
  
Director- ARE THE OTHER ACTORS HERE YET?  
  
Tristen- *confused* OTHER actors?  
  
Director- Yup! There weren't enough people so I had to cast a few extras.  
  
Joey- Like who?  
  
Director- *counts on fingers* I think we've got Mai, Weevil, Rex, Rebecca, and that Bones person.  
  
Director- *evil grin* The other, other actors I asked wouldn't come, but it will be fun with the ones I've got anyway.  
  
Yugi- *to Caitlin* I think she's going to torture us for her own amusement again.  
  
Caitlin- US? Yugi, the whole reason she created me was practically to torture me for her own amusement. You should be fine, it's me who is going to die. *is not very happy at the moment*  
  
Director- *over heard her* You can't die, you still have got to finish my series of fanfics that never end.  
  
Caitlin- *crosses arms* So you're just going to keep me alive so you can do what you want?  
  
Director- Exactly. *turns to door* I think the next actors are here, PLACES EVERYBODY! TIME TO START TO SENE!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Author- AGAIN, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON'T TAKE THIS FANFIC VERY SERIOUSLY! IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE SOMETHING I JUST DID FOR FUN!  
  
Author- If you want to read a fanfic with 'more to it', read my other ones.  
  
R&R if you want! 


	2. Places everyone! The Chaos begins!

****KEY****  
  
(bla) = The character they are playing.  
  
~~~Bla~~~ = Set change/ Time change  
  
*bla* = Actions  
  
{bla } = What happens (You'll understand better when you read it)  
  
[bla ] = Narration  
  
Director- And...ACTION!  
  
~~~Sleeping Beauty Part One~~~  
  
[ A princess was born under the rule of King Stephan and his queen and they named her Aurora because she filled her life with sunshine. Then they had a big celebration and everyone came even a king with his little prince so they betrothed them. ]  
  
Director- *sigh* My, wasn't that blunt. *To herself* Who wrote the script?  
  
Tristen- (King) Our, um, daughter is filling our lives with sunshine. So, let's, uh, have a big party.  
  
Rebecca- (Queen) I agree, *to bear* Isn't that right teddy?  
  
Joey- (King 2) *very fast* Mysonwillmarryyourdaughter.  
  
Tristen- Uh, ok?  
  
Rex- *comes out and is holding long trumpet* Announcing the three good fairies.  
  
All- *turn and look off stage dramatically*  
  
Rex- *with no enthusiasm* Mistress, Fauna.  
  
Caitlin- *enters in tacky green dress*  
  
Caitlin- *trips over dress, but regains herself* ^^;  
  
Rex- Mistress, Flora.  
  
Mai- *enters in identical red dress* ^_^  
  
Rex- And Mistress, Merryweather.  
  
{There is angry whispering heard back stage, then Weevil is pushed out wearing a blue dress that is way too big for him }  
  
Weevil- *grumbles* I can't believe I let you do this to me...  
  
Author- *is barely holding back laughter* Keep going.  
  
Mai and Caitlin- *overly dramatic hurrying to the baby cradle*  
  
Weevil- *takes his time dragging his feet over there*  
  
[ The three fairies decided to give the baby gifts, one from each of them. They started with Mistress Flora. ]  
  
Mai- *clears throat* I am going to give you the gift of beauty! Because see if your cheeks were naturally rosy, then you could save up to $200 on blush every year! I should know, I did the math. And if you didn't need to use Mary Kay then-  
  
Director- Mai! This is a T.V show, not a cosmetics commercial!  
  
Mai- Oh, sorry.  
  
Director- *in megaphone* CUE THE SPECIAL EFFECTS DEPARTMENT!  
  
{Kiba comes on stage wearing all black and holding a bucket of rose petals. He just simply walks over to the cradle, which has a baby doll in it, and dumps it all over the place}  
  
Kiba- There, are you happy?  
  
Director- Good, now you get your name on the credits! ^_^  
  
Kiba- -.-;;  
  
Caitlin- Excuse me? It's my turn now.  
  
Director- I know, go ahead. And this time, say something at the beginning like, 'little baby' or something.  
  
Caitlin- Um, little baby, I'm going to give you the gift of- song? Is that right?  
  
Kiba- *comes out again and dumps bucket of paper music notes on the baby*  
  
Kiba- *mutters and walks off stage*  
  
Weevil- *goes up* I'll give you money.  
  
Director- WEEVIL!  
  
Weevil- What?! Everyone wants money!  
  
Kiba- Dumping my money on the doll was not part of the contract!  
  
Director- *is starting to get frustrated* You don't give her money! You start to say what you will give her but you'll get interrupted ok? So just say, 'Sweet baby, my gift will be-' and then stop.  
  
Weevil- Why do you hate me so much?  
  
Director- Because your short, ugly, evil, and you have a REALLY annoying voice. Now say it.  
  
Weevil- *slowly* S-sweet baby, my gift will be- *stops and looks around for something to happen*  
  
Weevil- *shrugs*  
  
Director- *sigh* Say it again Weevil, louder this time.  
  
Weevil- *loud and slow* I SAID, SWEET BABY MY GIFT WILL BE- *waits*  
  
Director- *into megaphone* SPECIAL EFFECTS!  
  
{Kiba groans and goes on stage. He drops a bag of flour on the ground to create a cheesy illusion of smoke and walks off stage again. Bones casually walks on stage behind the 'smoke' like no one can see him. He is in a long black/blue T-shirt and pants that are also too big for him}  
  
Bones- (Maleficent) *cheesy evil laugh* *notices camera* Hi mom!  
  
Weevil- *cracks up* LOOK WHAT THEY DID TO YOU!  
  
Bones- ¬ ¬ I'm not the one in the dress here.  
  
Weevil- *face fall* *mutter*  
  
Bones- *to Weevil* Give me the baby.  
  
Weevil- *shrugs* Ok. *gives him the baby*  
  
Bones- Cool.  
  
Director- NO NO NO! Weevil you aren't SUPPOSED to give him the baby! He isn't a very nice person!  
  
Bones- Hey!  
  
Director- Do it again.  
  
Bones- *monotone* Give me the baby.  
  
Weevil- No.  
  
Bones- Why not?  
  
Weevil- *looks to Director for answer* Uh, because you aren't a very nice person.  
  
Bones- Give me the baby, PLEASE?  
  
Weevil- *hands over baby* Ok.  
  
Director- NO! WEEVIL YOU DON'T WANT TO GIVE HIM THE BABY!  
  
Weevil- Why not?  
  
Director- Cause I say so! Now do it again!  
  
Bones- Give me the baby.  
  
Weevil- No.  
  
Bones- Why not.  
  
Weevil- Because- *points at director* -she says I can't.  
  
Bones- Oh ok. *exits stage*  
  
Director- *pulls out hair* BONES! YOU WANT THE BABY! YOU AREN'T JUST GOING TO LET IT STAY THERE! AND YOU CURSE THEM BEFORE YOU LEAVE!  
  
Bones- *pauses* Oh yeah!  
  
Director- *sighs* Can somebody ELSE play the evil witch?  
  
Bones- Wait, I'M AN EVIL WITCH?!  
  
Director- ACTION!  
  
Bones- -.-; Give me the baby.  
  
Weevil- No.  
  
Bones- Why not?  
  
Weevil- Because.  
  
Bones- Oh, alright. *starts to walk away*  
  
Bones- *walks back on stage* Oh yeah, and you're cursed.  
  
Weevil- Doh!  
  
Rebecca- (Queen) What do we do now?  
  
Joey- (King 2) How do we undo this curse that will make her die when she is 16 by touching a spinning wheel?  
  
Director- *gives him a thumbs up*  
  
Caitlin- *nudges Weevil*  
  
Weevil- WHAT?!  
  
Caitlin- *rolls eyes* Weev- I mean, Merryweather still hasn't given her gift.  
  
Tristen- (King Stephen) So she can undo this curse?  
  
Weevil- Sure! *gets nudged* Ow! What the heck was-  
  
Mai- No she can't.  
  
Weevil- SHE!?  
  
Mai- But IT can help.  
  
Weevil- *tries to remember the script* Uh, um, Instead of dying when she touches the spinning wheel, she will only go into a deep coma and then turn into BUGS!!  
  
Director- WEEVIL!  
  
Weevil- *pouts* What's wrong with bugs?  
  
Director- She goes to sleep, end of story.  
  
Weevil- *mumbles* That's boring.  
  
Director- Weevil...  
  
Weevil- Fine, she'll go to sleep and wake up after a while the end.  
  
{Kiba comes on stage and shines a flashlight with blue cellophane taped on it, over the cradle, then leaves.}  
  
~~~~IN A ROOM OF THE CASTLE~~~~  
  
[ So, later that day, the fairies decided to talk about how they could keep the little baby alive. ]  
  
Mai- *is pacing* Oh, I don't like Maleficent at all she's so mean.  
  
Weevil- I've got an idea, how about we turn her into a BUG!!  
  
Caitlin- No that wouldn't work, we can only use our powers for good, and happiness.  
  
Weevil- Bugs make me happy.  
  
Mai- *claps hands hard* I've got an idea! *hands start to sting, so she blows on them*  
  
Caitlin- What is it?  
  
Mai- We can turn the princess into something, then Maleficent won't be able to find her and kill her!  
  
Caitlin- That's a wonderful idea!  
  
Weevil- Yea! And I know what we can turn her into! Hows about we turn her into a BUG!!  
  
Both- No.  
  
Weevil- Aww...  
  
Mai- I know! I'll turn her into a flower!  
  
Caitlin- Oh she'd make a lovely flower!  
  
Mai- And don't you see? A flower can't prick it's finger because it has none! That means she'll be safe.  
  
Caitlin- *bites lip* Until Maleficent sends her frost.  
  
Mai- Ye- oh...  
  
Weevil- *mutters* A bug wouldn't die because of a frost...  
  
Mai- Oh! I've got an idea! We can pretend to be peasants and live in a cottage all alone in the woods and take Aurora and re-name her Briar Rose!  
  
Caitlin- *fake smile*  
  
Weevil- That, is the single stupidest idea I have ever heard of.  
  
Mai- *pouts* Why?  
  
Weevil- Well come on, I mean it's not like she-he-it isn't going to find us just because we change the princesses name and live in a cottage.  
  
Caitlin- *silently agrees, but has plastered the smile on her face*  
  
Mai- Maybe...but she won't find us if we don't have our wands! *takes their wands away*  
  
Weevil- Now that's just plain stupid.  
  
Director- Weevil, will you please just go along with it? It's in the script.  
  
Weevil- Well maybe the script should just be re-written then.  
  
Director- WEEVIL!  
  
Weevil- *sarcastically* Oh my, that is the most perfect plan, what a great idea.  
  
Director- ^_^ Good.  
  
Mai- ^_^ Thank you very much!  
  
Weevil- *muttering* I could have written a better script.  
  
Director- *sighs* Let's just take five.  
  
Tea- *comes in* Miss. Uh, Director person! Rex got his head stuck in the trash can again!  
  
Rex- *has a small trash can attached to his head and is trying to yank it off to no avail* HELP!! IT HURTS MY HEAD!  
  
Director- Better make that ten.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
R&R PLEASE! I COULD REALLY USE SOME INPUT! 


	3. PART 2, Cat Fight in the Cottage

****KEY****  
  
(bla) = The character they are playing.  
  
~~~Bla~~~ = Set change/ Time change  
  
*bla* = Actions  
  
{bla } = What happens on stage  
  
[bla ] = Narration  
  
*************  
  
Author/Director/Me- YAY! Three reviews in one day! ^_^ I feel so loved!  
  
Everyone- *is glaring at her*  
  
Author/Director/Me- Well, MOSTLY loved.  
  
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~  
  
Director- *in megaphone* OK! BREAK'S OVER! EVERYONE TAKE THEIR PLACES FOR THE COTTAGE SENE!  
  
All- *groan*  
  
Director- Let's see, we've got a bunch or actors in this part, we're going to have to just start up right now and get it over with. PLACES PEOPLE!  
  
Mai- *rubs ear* We're right here you know you don't have to yell.  
  
Director- ^_^ It just makes me feel more director-y!  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
[ So the fairies raised the princess for many, many years and called her Briar Rose like they said they would. They were living fine for 15 long years and today is her birthday. ]  
  
Tea- *can't sing but is trying* Um, la la la la?  
  
Director- With more feeling Tea! You're singing a beautiful song, act like it!  
  
Tea- *clears throat* LA LA LA LA LA!  
  
Director- *sighs* Go on with the next part.  
  
~~~~Down Stairs~~~~  
  
Mai- *is pointing at something on a page of a book* I thought we might burn this one.  
  
Director- MAI! You're making the dress not burning it!  
  
Mai- It's not my fault you picked the least fashionable dress in this whole book of unfashionable dresses!  
  
Director- It's not a book of unfashionable dresses! I've worn five dresses in that book! I'm even wearing one now!  
  
Mai- *looks her over* Like I said, book of unfashionable dresses.  
  
Caitlin- I have to agree with Mai, it even says so on the cover. *Holds up book and reveals the title, 'Big Book of Unfashionable Dresses'*  
  
Director- *snatches it back* GIVE ME THAT! Here- *hands them Discovery Channel Magazine* Use this book instead.  
  
Caitlin- *looks at it* This is an animal book, not a dress book.  
  
Director- It's the only one I had on hand at the moment! Just pretend there are dresses in the book and ACTION!  
  
Mai- *looks at it* I think we should make this one.  
  
Caitlin- *confused* Which one?  
  
Mai- DOES IT MATTER?! NONE OF THESE PICTURES ARE OF CLOTHES!  
  
Caitlin- WELL GOSH IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU MADE HER TAKE AWAY THE BOOK!  
  
Mai- IT WAS A BOOK OF TERRIBLY STYLED DRESSES YOU SHOULD THANK ME!  
  
Caitlin- WELL NOW WE'RE LOOKING AT MANATEES AND PRETENDING THEY ARE DRESSES AND I DON'T THINK THAT'S ANY BETTER!  
  
Mai- SURE IT IS YOU JUST HAVE TO USE YOUR IMAGINATION!  
  
Caitlin- IMAGINATION?! WHAT AM I FIVE!?  
  
Mai- JUDGING BY THE WAY YOU PUT ON YOUR MAKEUP IN THE MORNING-  
  
Caitlin- IT WAS FOUR IN THE MORNING AND IT WAS DARK WHAT DO YOU EXPECT!  
  
Girls- *continue screaming at each other for no apparent reason*  
  
Weevil- *raises hand* Uh, hello? Still here and waiting for my turn to speak.  
  
Girls- *screaming* YOU STAY OUT OF THIS.  
  
Weevil- Ok...  
  
Tea- *voice from behind the stairs* Um, guys? I don't mean to break up this- conversation and all, but do you know how painful it is to be wearing a corset?  
  
Caitlin- Well then take the darn thing off!  
  
Tea- I can't do that, then I'd have to put it back on when you stop arguing and that might take a while.  
  
Mai- WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IT WILL TAKE FOREVER FOR US TO SORT THIS OUT!?  
  
Tea- Well, actually yes.  
  
Caitlin- I'm insulted! Especially with the way YOU took forever to get THAT STUPID LITTLE BAG OF COOKIES FROM THE MACHIENE SO BY THE TIME I GOT A TURN IT WAS TIME TO START BACK UP AGAIN!  
  
Tea- IT WASN'T MY FAULT THEY HAD A LOT OF GOOD THINGS FOR A DOLLAR IN THE SELECTION! AND BY THE TIME YUGI LET ME BORROW HIS DOLLAR SO I COULD GET THE OREOS AND THE NUTIANS-  
  
Mai- You got TWO things? What a pig...  
  
Tea- HEY I WAS HUNGRY AND WHO WAS THE ONE THAT EATS THREE SOUPS FOR LUNCH!?  
  
Yugi- *comes in fake door in medieval outfit* I think you guys forgot about my part, I've been waiting for a while and-  
  
Tea- *irritably* No Yugi, we did not forget you we're still on our part.  
  
Yugi- *surprised* Really? It's been forever, you still aren't done?  
  
Mai- WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?  
  
{Everyone gets into a large argument, even the other actors that are behind the scenes jump in. Although, they can't really join sides because there aren't any sides to begin with. Just an insult fling. Director is shaking her head and rubbing her temples because of all the yelling. }  
  
Director- Will everyone please just BE QUIET!!!  
  
Everyone- *stops* *crickets heard*  
  
Director- Tea is not a pig, Yugi was not forgotten, this is not Caitlin's fault, and Mai, what book would you propose we look at instead?  
  
Mai- *confused* My proposition? *Evil grin*  
  
~~~Half and Hour Later~~~  
  
Mai- I like that one.  
  
Caitlin- Me too! Let's make it!  
  
Mai- We can make a cake or something and I'll make the dress ok?  
  
Caitlin- ^^ Ok! I LOVE that dress!  
  
Weevil- *squints and tilts his head* Why is there a cat on that girl's head?  
  
Mai- It's not a cat it's a ferret.  
  
Weevil- *squints harder and tilts head farther* Why is that ferret on her head?  
  
Caitlin- Because it matches the mink coat and shoes.  
  
Mai- Well it isn't really mink, they banned mink in the H.M.F a few years ago, it's a mink look-alike!  
  
Caitlin- Oh ok!  
  
Weevil- *is disgusted* So this is what you do in your spare time?  
  
Director- Moving along please?  
  
Tea- *comes out* What are you three- *she stopped* What are they to me?  
  
Director- What do you mean?  
  
Tea- Well, they aren't my mom or grandma or anything. So they are three...what?  
  
Director- Just say three.  
  
Tea- *tries again* What are you three up to?  
  
Weevil- Up to?  
  
Caitlin- Up to?  
  
Mai- *shrugs* Reading this magazine.  
  
Director- *sighs but lets them continue because she's getting tired of stopping them* I don't get paid enough for this job. Oh yea, I don't get paid anything. Why me?  
  
Tea- *doesn't know what to say to that* I- uh- um- that's cool. I'm going to -go pick some berries.  
  
Mai- *hasn't looked up and turns the page* Knock yourself out.  
  
Caitlin- Yeah, go ahead. If you want to I mean.  
  
Weevil- *pushes container into her hands* If you see any bugs out there, catch them for me and-  
  
Director- WEEVIL STOP RIGHT THERE!  
  
Weevil- *frowns* You aren't any fun at all.  
  
Yugi- *comes in again* I'm here!  
  
Director- YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE HERE YUGI JUST WAIT PATIENTLY UNTIL TEA STARTS PICKING BERRIES!  
  
Yugi- *blushes and exits set, closing door quietly* Sorry.  
  
Tea- *clears throat* Uh, I guess I'll go pick berries now then.  
  
Weevil- Bye!  
  
Tea- *gives them a last, 'loony bird' look and exits*  
  
Caitlin- I think she suspects something. What do you think Mai, erm, Flora?  
  
Mai- *sigh* I think that fabric is perfect on that skirt.  
  
Weevil- You girls really need to get a life, all you talk about is clothes.  
  
Mai- *tears herself from the article* Oh and talking on and on about bugs is any better?  
  
Weevil- BUGS ARE ALWAYS BETTER! BUGS RULE THE WORLD! *evil cackle*  
  
Caitlin- *rolls eyes* You're mental.  
  
Weevil- OH AM I!? *another evil cackle*  
  
Mai- Uh, yeah you are. I really think you should get some help.  
  
Weevil- I DON'T NEED HELP! YOU NEED HELP!  
  
Mai- WHAT!? YUGI'S THE ONE THAT BELIEVES IN THAT STUPID HEART OF THE CARDS! IF ANYONE NEEDS HELP IT'S HIM!  
  
Yugi- *comes back in* Sense when did I get pulled into this argument?  
  
Caitlin- *is shaking her head and watching from a distance* Right now.  
  
{ Everyone starts argument back up again. }  
  
Director- *groan* WILL YOU GUYS PLEASE CALM DOWN AND STOP INSULTING EACH OTHER FOR ONCE!?  
  
Caitlin- *is standing next to the director to avoid being part of argument*  
  
Director- *sigh* You minus well go up there and argue like a little kid too, it's not like it will make any difference.  
  
Caitlin- *shakes head* I've argued enough for one day. I made a rule for myself that says I can only insult and argue with ONE person a day so ^^ now I'm done!  
  
Director- *stares in disbelief* I didn't create you with that characteristic.  
  
Caitlin- ^___^ I made it up myself!  
  
Director- -.-;; No wonder.  
  
Caitlin- ¬ ¬ What?  
  
Director- Never mind, I sent Rex and Ryou to get a prop from the back room and they haven't come back yet. *cringes because of a loud scream from Mai* Go and look for them please.  
  
Caitlin- *shrugs and leaves*  
  
Director- *really REALLY loudly* ALRIGHT EVERYONE SHUT UP OR I'LL TURN THIS MOVIE INTO A SERIES WHERE THERE WILL BE A NEW EPISODE EVERY DAY AND YOU'LL HAVE TO PRACTICLY LIVE WITH EACHOTHER AND LEARN TO LIKE EACH OTHER (no not that way) AND IF YOU FIGHT YOU WILL DIE!  
  
All- *eyes get big*  
  
Director- SOOO, does anyone have any 'suggestions' about the next part?  
  
All- *cricket* *cricket*  
  
Director- *evil grin* GOOD! Now, let's start the next scene.  
  
Tea- But...but it's time to go home.  
  
Director- DID I SAY IT WAS TIME TO GO HOME!  
  
Tea- N-no.  
  
Director- THEN WHAT GIVES YOU THE IDEA THAT IT IS TIME TO GO HOME!? ARE YOU THE BOSS!?  
  
Tea- N-n-no.  
  
Director- IT'S TIME TO GO HOME WHEN I SAY IT'S TIME TO GO HOME!!!  
  
All- *is amazed, not in a good way*  
  
Director- *is breathing deeply* Ok... ^^ Time to go home!  
  
All- *is still in state of shock and doesn't move*  
  
Director- *in a growly tone, through her teeth* I SAID, TIME TO GO HOME.  
  
All- *runs away before she kills them*  
  
Director- *sigh* ^^ It's been a long day.  
  
Rebecca- *quietly* Uh, excuse me?  
  
Director- *snaps* WHAT?!  
  
Rebecca- *flinch* I just wanted to know where you put my teddy?  
  
Director- *a little calmer* I sent Ryou and Rex up to get it, it's in the props room. They didn't come back though so I sent Caitlin up after them, she hasn't come back either. I wonder were they are...  
  
~~~IN A DARK CLOSET~~~  
  
{ It is pitch black and no one can see. There is assorted tripping and moving heard as Ryou, Rex, and Caitlin feel around for the light switch. }  
  
Rex- Oh that was smooth Ryou, REAL smooth.  
  
Ryou- HEY! I didn't mean too! When Caitlin came in it startled me and my fingers slipped!  
  
Rex- Your fingers can't slip and lock the door Ryou!  
  
Caitlin- Well Rex, yours can't slip and turn the light switch off!  
  
Rex- I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS THE SWITCH!  
  
Caitlin- What did you think it was then!? Trom ploy? (sp?)  
  
Rex- I'm not going to answer that.  
  
Caitlin- *snickers* You aren't going to answer cause you don't know what Trom Ploy is.  
  
Rex- I'm not going that either.  
  
Note- If you want to know what Trom Ploy is, it is pronounced the way it is spelt and it is a form of realistic art. So realistic that it looks like you could touch the violin they painted in the picture. Like 3-D! *is done with art lesson*  
  
Caitlin- *feels something* I found it!  
  
Ryou- Really? Turn it on!  
  
Caitlin- What? No not the switch, I think I found the bowl I'm supposed to use in the next scene.  
  
Ryou- Oh...  
  
Caitlin- No wait! Now I think I've found it!  
  
(Insert loud crashing and assorted noises here)  
  
Caitlin- ...  
  
Caitlin- That wasn't it.  
  
Rex and Ryou- -.-;;  
  
Rex- You guys are trying to get out all wrong! You need to approach this matter delicately, with intelligence, style, flare, and a cool head.  
  
Ryou- And how do we do that?  
  
Rex- *they hear banging on the door and walls* LET US OUT LET US OUT LET US OOOOUUUUUT! HELP!!  
  
Caitlin and Ryou- *shrugs and follows his example with nothing better to do*  
  
~~~AT THE SET~~  
  
Director- *pauses* I wonder where they are anyway. *shrug* Oh well.  
  
Rebecca- But what about my teddy!?  
  
Director- *pats her on the back and gives her a shoe she found on floor* Here, you can have this.  
  
Rebecca- But I can't sleep without my teddy!  
  
Director- Geez, kids these days are so picky! *pushes her away and starts to turn off all the lights*  
  
Yugi- *comes over* Have you seen my shoes? I can't find one of them.  
  
Director- *shakes head* I haven't seen any shoes sense this morning.  
  
Yugi- Oh.  
  
Director- I'm locking up the building and turning off the main power so you'd better get outta here.  
  
Yugi- You turn off the main power when you leave?  
  
Director- Yup, so no electricity is wasted! ^^ And I lock the doors so nothing can get in. *walks outside with Yugi and locks the door*  
  
Yugi- *pauses* Or out...  
  
Director- *laughs* I guess, but who would be stupid enough to get themselves stuck on a movie set?  
  
~~~IN DARK CLOSET~~~  
  
{They are still banging on the walls screaming for help}  
  
Caitlin- *feels something again* Hey I found the switch!  
  
Rex- *scoffs* Yeah right, like the last five switches you found?  
  
Caitlin- I found it! *turns it on*  
  
Ryou- *blinks* LIGHT! WE ARE SAVED!  
  
Caitlin- *beams* Now all we have to do is unlock the door.  
  
{ At that moment, Director turns off main power and the lights turn off again}  
  
All- *silence in the darkness*  
  
Rex- ...It's dark again.  
  
Caitlin- Thank you Professor Obvious.  
  
Ryou- It appears that the main power was shut off.  
  
All- *silence*  
  
All- *resumes mad pounding on walls* HELP US!!!  
  
****************  
  
Me- It's not over! Next chapter is coming very soon! What chaos will insue when I add Yugi, and Ryou to the movie! ^____^ ENJOY! And don't forget to R&R! 


	4. PART 3, Don't give magic to Mai & Weevil

****KEY****  
  
~~~Bla~~~ = Set change/ Time change  
  
*bla* = Actions  
  
{bla } = What happens (You'll understand better when you read it)  
  
[bla ] = Narration  
  
Author- HEY PEOPLES ITS ME AGAIN! ^_______^ Sorry about the wait for this new chapter, but I think I'm ready to start back up again!  
  
Author- *waits*  
  
Author- *looks around* Hey! Were are the usual comments about being tortured given by Caitlin every day?  
  
Everyone- *looks around*  
  
Author- Where is she? OH WELL! Time for some ACTING!  
  
All- *groan*  
  
Author- *death glare*  
  
All- ^^;;  
  
NOTE- THANK YOU FOR ALL THE REVIEWS YOU ALL HAVE GIVEN ME! THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!  
  
!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!  
  
Director- PLACES EVERYONE! PLACES! HEY! I SAID PLACES!  
  
Everyone- *is eating doughnuts she had supplied for them moments earlier*  
  
Director- *huff* LET'S GET TO WORK RIGHT NOW OR I'LL...I'LL... URG!  
  
Director- *snaps fingers and all doughnuts disappear* Or I'll do that.  
  
Joey- *mouth full of doughnuts* Hey!  
  
Director- PLACES FOR THE FOREST SCENE WITH TEA AND YUGI AND THE COTTAGE SCENE WITH THE FARIES! PLACES ALREADY!  
  
Rebecca- *tugs on shirt* Excuse me?  
  
Director- *deep breath as she runs her fingers through her hair and then glares down at her* What!?  
  
Rebecca- Uh, did you happen to find my teddy bear yesterday?  
  
Director- *false smile* As a matter of fact I did, and you know what else I found?  
  
Rebecca- *hopefully* My paycheck?  
  
Director- *cheerfully* No! *forced grin* I found the little note you left me about how you were going to sue me if I didn't supply the bear.  
  
Rebecca- Well, yes. It's a good thing that you found that note so I don't have to explain everything.  
  
Director- You know what's a good thing? The fact that I don't care.  
  
Rebecca- *huffs and stamps foot* I-I need my teddy back right now because my agent says-  
  
Director- YOU have an agent!?  
  
Rebecca- Uh, yea?  
  
Director- *to herself* She gets and agent before I do and I'm the one writing the stupid story... *light bulb over head* That's it!  
  
Director- *snaps fingers and agent appears* Continue.  
  
Rebecca- Well my agent says that if I don't get my teddy back I could sue you for a lot of money because the bear was YOUR responsibility and therefore you hold responsible.  
  
Director- *smirk* Is that so?  
  
Rebecca- Yes, and not only that but if I don't get the bear back I'm going to have to quit.  
  
Director- Hold on a minute. *agent whispers in ear and she nods* That's fine with me.  
  
Rebecca- *blink* Wha?  
  
Director- In fact, you know what, I'm going to fire you.  
  
Rebecca- YOU CAN'T FIRE ME!  
  
Director- Oh, but I can! *snaps fingers and two big muscle dudes appear and carry Rebecca away* Chow darling!  
  
Rebecca- BUT THIS ISN'T FAIR!  
  
Director- That's show biz kid! *preens fingers*  
  
Tristen- Does anyone else hear that?  
  
Director- Hear what?  
  
All- Shh!  
  
Sound- *muffled banging on the door to the prop closet*  
  
Joey- *opens door*  
  
{Caitlin, Ryou, and Rex fall out because they were leaning on the door all night long.}  
  
Caitlin- *raises hands* WE ARE SAVED!  
  
Director- ^^ And just in time too! We're going to start taping right away!  
  
Caitlin- *eyes get wide* RUN!  
  
Ryou, Rex, and Caitlin- *run for the door, but all of them get grabbed by Director* Ahh!  
  
Director- ^^ Where are you going? *drags them to set* Its time to start the show!  
  
Ryou, Rex, and Caitlin- ;_;  
  
Director- NOW LET'S GET STARTED! WE'RE ROLLING CAMERA... ACTION!  
  
~~~~ IN THE COTTAGE ~~~~  
  
[ In the cottage, all the fairies are getting ready for 'Briar Rose's' 16th birthday and they are all doing their part.]  
  
Mai- *takes out purple fabric* This dress is going to be all over the fashion magazines by the time I'm done with it!  
  
Caitlin- *taking out bowls and measuring cups* I'll make the cake! I'm going to make it sixteen layers high with blue icing and sixteen candles!  
  
Mai and Weevil- O.O *they aren't acting like they are afraid Caitlin will somehow burn the set down, they ARE afraid Caitlin will burn the set down*  
  
Caitlin- ^______^ I've always wanted to make a sixteenth birthday cake! Even if it's not a real sixteenth birthday...  
  
Weevil- Maybe I should make the cake.  
  
Caitlin- *growls* No.  
  
Mai- *rolls eyes* It's not like bug-boy would be any better anyway.  
  
Weevil- I WOULD SO! And if you're so smart why don't you make it!  
  
Caitlin- *whine* But I wanna make the cake!  
  
Mai- I can't make it! *holds up fabric* Designer at work here, remember?  
  
Weevil- Fine. But if Caitlin burns the set down don't blame me.  
  
Caitlin- HEY! I only did that once!  
  
Mai- Weev- I mean, Merryweather, you can be my dummy.  
  
Weevil- Dummy!?  
  
Mai- Yup, you'd be perfect for the job seeing as you already are one.  
  
Weevil- I am not!  
  
Mai- Fine, then think of it as, you are my very-ugly-and-un-styled-fashion- model.  
  
Weevil- That's a little better...  
  
Mai- Good, now get up on this stool because Briar Rose is a whole lot taller then you are.  
  
Weevil- So, what exactly does a very-ugly-and-un-styled-fashion-model do?  
  
Mai- Stand there and look pretty while I dress you up.  
  
Weevil- PRETTY?!  
  
Mai- Yeah, I know it will be hard work to look pretty but you have to try so I can make this dress.  
  
Weevil- DRESS!?  
  
Mai- Hey it isn't that bad! You're wearing one right now!  
  
Weevil- THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE THE DIRECTOR WONT LET ME TAKE IT OFF!  
  
Director- ^^ I love authoress powers.  
  
Mai- Fine, whatever, anyway get up there.  
  
Caitlin- *reading cook book* Two eggs, fold in gently. *confused* Fold? *shrug* Oh well.  
  
Caitlin- *puts eggs in batter and literally folds them in* This isn't that hard! *eggs crack* Oops...  
  
Mai- *throws fabric over Weevil* There we go.  
  
Weevil- *disgusted* It's purple!  
  
Mai- I know that, isn't it nice? All the models are wearing that nowadays.  
  
Weevil- But I wanted it to be green!  
  
Mai- Well you aren't the one making the dress are you?  
  
Weevil- *grumbles while Mai cuts around the bottom* I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you...  
  
Caitlin- *reads* One TSP. Tisp?  
  
Weevil- Tea (that's TEA not the girl) spoon duh!  
  
Caitlin- Oh! Right, *grabs a spoon*  
  
Mai- *pulls fabric so it covers Weevil's head*  
  
Weevil- *muffled under the fabric* I can't breathe!  
  
Mai- Good, maybe now you'll be quiet.  
  
Director- Mai if you kill off one of the characters I don't know what I'll do! I'm already short one!  
  
Mai- Fine. *cuts hole at top*  
  
Weevil- *forces head through hole and gasps for breath* Thank you!  
  
Caitlin- *reading* Three cups of milk. *grabs three cups, fills them with milk, and dumps them into the batter*  
  
Mai- *puts ribbon around dress* There, the formal touch.  
  
Weevil- *examines himself* It looks awful!  
  
Mai- That's because it's on you.  
  
~~~~ IN THE FOREST ~~~~  
  
Tea- *comes in carrying the basket* La la la.  
  
Director- Will you sing already Tea!  
  
Tea- It's not my fault! I'm a dancer not a singer!  
  
Director- Well you'll have to learn to be a singer if you plan to survive in show business.  
  
Tea- But I don't-  
  
Director- Rolling!  
  
Tea- *sighs and does the best she can to sing, which isn't THAT bad* What a wonderful day.  
  
Director- With more enthusiasm please!  
  
Tea- *overly enthusiastic* Wow! What a wonderful day!  
  
Director- I need an asprin...  
  
Tea- *is pretending to pick berries off a cardboard bush* Look at all the berries! *hums*  
  
Joey- *to director* You know what's funny? She keeps picking berries but the basket doesn't get any fuller.  
  
Director- *to Joey* No comments from the peanut gallery!  
  
Tea- *keeps picking and is looking around for a reason to stop* I wonder if there is anyone else in the forest today.  
  
Yugi- *is struggling to get his costume on at the moment*  
  
Tea- *keeps picking in the same place on the bush* Anyone at all.  
  
Yugi- *starts to run to the stage but trips over his large boots and falls on his face*  
  
Tea- *picking* Maybe even a prince but it doesn't matter.  
  
Yugi- *finally gets on stage looking very frazzled* I'm here.  
  
Director- *hissing* Yugi the camera doesn't need to know that!  
  
Yugi- Oh, sorry.  
  
Director- Stop talking you're making it worse!  
  
Yugi- But I-  
  
Director- SHUT UP!  
  
Yugi- *covers his own mouth*  
  
Director- *runs it over in her head quickly* Prince, princess, bush and berries, *pause* ...the horse! I don't have a horse!  
  
Ryou- *is innocently trying to unfold his fold-up chair that isn't cooperating*  
  
Director- Ryou!  
  
Ryou- *jumps, and the chair folds back up and falls over*  
  
Director- How'd ya like to be my horse?  
  
Ryou- O.O What!?  
  
Director- Not mine personally, I mean, you need to be Yugi's horse.  
  
Ryou- O.O  
  
Director- In the play I mean.  
  
Ryou- O.O P-p-play?  
  
Director- Movie. Whatever. You've been backstage the entire time!  
  
Ryou- I'm fine with that.  
  
Director- No, you don't like it, I can tell.  
  
Ryou- No, you don't understand...  
  
Director- *hands him horse costume* Put this on and go onstage ASAP.  
  
Ryou- But I-  
  
Director- No excuses! Besides, your fangirls are already ready to kill me for not making you the prince and they WILL kill me if I don't even put you one stage.  
  
Ryou- F-fa-fa-  
  
Director- You know what, forget putting on the costume. *snaps fingers and moth eaten horse costume appears on Ryou* Huh, you would think with my author powers I would be able to get a better horse suit then that.  
  
Director- Oh well. Now go! *snaps fingers and Ryou appears on stage, looking very white, even for him*  
  
Yugi- *blinks* Oh, uh, there is my trusty horse! Hello Sampson.  
  
Ryou- O.O *eyeing camera uneasily*  
  
Yugi- Um, right. *puts hand dramatically to his ear* Sampson, do you hear that?  
  
Ryou- O.O  
  
Yugi- Sampson?  
  
Ryou- O.O  
  
Director- *whispers* Your line is, 'neigh'.  
  
Ryou- O.O  
  
Director- Anytime now.  
  
Ryou- Ne-nei-n-  
  
Director- *grumbles* I give him one stupid line and he screws it up...  
  
Yugi- Yes, I hear it too Sampson. Let's see what it is, ok? *starts to walk to Tea*  
  
Ryou- *doesn't move*  
  
Yugi- *grabs Ryou by the tail and pulls him to the side of the stage*  
  
Tea- *acts surprised* Oh! Who are you!  
  
Yugi- I am a prince!  
  
Director- NONONONONO!  
  
Yugi- *confused* But I am a prince!  
  
Director- I know, but she isn't supposed to know yet!  
  
Yugi- Why not?  
  
Director- Just because!  
  
Yugi- She's not stupid...  
  
Tea- ^_____^ Thank you Yugi!  
  
Director- You just don't ever tell her so she doesn't know now get on with it!  
  
Tea- Ok? *turns to Yugi* So you're a prince?  
  
Director- NO, NO, NO! YOU DON'T KNOW HE'S A PRINCE! DIDN'T YOU LISTEN TO A WORD I JUST SAID!?  
  
Tea- *blink* But he just said he was a prince, does my character have a bad memory?  
  
Director- No it's just that he has not yet told you who he is!  
  
Yugi- I haven't? I could have sworn I-  
  
Director- YOU DON'T KNOW HE IS A PRINCE! END OF STORY! KEEP GOING!  
  
Tea- *shrugs* Hello stranger that looks like a prince but I'm sure isn't.  
  
Yugi- *waves* Hi.  
  
Director- Ugh.  
  
Tea- So who are you exactly?  
  
Yugi- *nervous glance at Director* I'm not supposed to tell you.  
  
Tea- Ok. Well, I've got to go home now. But I'll see you around ok?  
  
Yugi- Sure. At that cottage in the woods?  
  
Tea- How did you know?  
  
Yugi- *shrug* I read the script.  
  
Tea- *nods and leaves*  
  
Director- *bangs head against the wall next to her* I had to do this with the YGO cast, of all people, why me?  
  
~~~ BACK IN THE COTTAGE ~~~  
  
Caitlin- *is trying to light the candles on a lopsided cake* So, what do you think?  
  
Mai- Well it's *turns and looks at it* ...uh...good.  
  
Caitlin- Yes, well, *uses a broom to hold up cake* it will be a whole lot stiffer once it's baked.  
  
Mai- You haven't baked it yet?  
  
Caitlin- Not yet, I wanted to put on the icing first...and the candles.  
  
Weevil- You're so stupid.  
  
Caitlin- *barely containing her laughter* I'm not the one in the fat purple dress.  
  
Weevil- Why you little- *tries to jump on her, but Mai holds him back*  
  
Mai- ^^ What do you think of the dress? *gestures to the very poorly made purple dress covered in ribbons and bows*  
  
Caitlin- *bites her lip* Oh, well it's, very interesting. Its not what they had in the book...  
  
Mai- I improved it! ^^  
  
Caitlin- Improved it, yeah...  
  
Mai- Maybe if I added a little bit more- ruffles! What do you think?  
  
Caitlin- Um, yes, I think, if you added ruffles it would look better...I think.  
  
Weevil- It looks like we fished it out of a dumpster! The cake too!  
  
Caitlin- *glare*  
  
Weevil- I think we should think about what Rose will think of this mess!  
  
Mai- We can think all we want, but we don't know what Rose will think.  
  
Caitlin- And besides, ^^ It's the thought that counts!  
  
Weevil- NO IT ISN'T THAT'S JUST WHAT PEOPLE SAY WHEN THEY BUY SOMEONE A CHEAP GIFT TO MAKE THEM FEEL BETTER!  
  
Weevil- *storms off with pieces of the dress flying off* I still think what I thought before! I'm going to go get the wands and we can do something better then this!  
  
Caitlin- *notices the cake melt into a puddle on the table* ;_; My cake...  
  
Mai- *sigh* Well, the dress is destroyed, so I guess we've got to use the wands.  
  
Weevil- *Comes back in with sticks that resemble wands* Here they are! Good as new!  
  
Mai- Careful Merryweather! Close up all the windows first!  
  
Weevil- *looks around* They are closed.  
  
Mai- Oh. Well ok then! ^^ *hands out wands*  
  
Caitlin- Woo hoo! *swishes wand around and glitter comes out*  
  
Mai- Ok, Fauna you make the cake again.  
  
Caitlin- ^_____^ YAYNESS!  
  
Weevil- And I'll-  
  
Mai- You'll clean up the house while I'LL make the dress.  
  
Weevil- *glare* You're evil woman.  
  
Mai- CLEAN.  
  
Weevil- *sigh* Come on mop, bucket, broom, Flora says clean up the room.  
  
Kiba- *walks on stage, obviously not putting up any attempt to hide himself, and has a mop puppet*  
  
Weevil- O.o ok, now clean up.  
  
Kiba- *groans and moves the puppets around*  
  
Director- *snaps fingers* With all my power (^^) I should give the wands real magic power!  
  
Wands- *glow*  
  
Caitlin- *evil grin* This is more like it. *is reading to the ingredients* Eggs, flour, cinnamon.  
  
Caitlin- Aw heck, just do it like it says in the book. ^^ I'll put on the candles! *all the eggs and stuff make themselves into a cake*  
  
Mai- *sees the display and flicks her wand around* Now I can REALLY make some magic happen! *starts making the dress*  
  
Weevil- *notices dress* Oh no not purple! Make it a...oh! Make it a bug! *dress starts turning into a large purple bug*  
  
Mai- *screams* EWWW! WEEVIL DON'T MESS WITH MY DESIGNS! *turns it back*  
  
Weevil- *evil grin* Make it a bug again. *turns dress into a bug again*  
  
Mai- *shrieks and turns the dress back* I'm warning you bug boy...  
  
Weevil- *turns the dress into a bug again*  
  
Mai- *turns Weevil's costume purple along with making his face covered in makeup and his hair gets longer* A pretty face to match the dress!  
  
Weevil- *shoots magic at dress, but misses and hits Mai instead* Whoops.  
  
Mai- *has intenna and six legs* DIIIIIEEEEEE!  
  
Caitlin- *has the cake almost finished and turns to ask Mai and Weevil what they think* Hey guys what do you think of-  
  
{ Caitlin turns around to see Weevil looking like a girl with a bowl hair- cut on the floor with a large bug-looking creature trying to strangle him/her/it. Caitlin just watches them open-mouthed for a while, then decides to not get involved (for fear of being turned into a bug) and turns back to her cake. }  
  
Caitlin- *under her breath* You didn't see anything, don't bring it up to Mai that she was a bug or Weevil was a girl, if the director asks you why you didn't stop them say, 'I was making the cake and didn't see them.' I didn't see anything at all. No siree, nothing.  
  
Tea- *comes in through the door* I'm home!  
  
Everyone- *stops and stares* NOOOO!  
  
Tea- What?  
  
Mai- *gets up* Go away you aren't supposed to come in yet! We're busy!  
  
Tea- *very confused* Huh?  
  
Weevil- You didn't knock! GO GO GO!  
  
Tea- Uh, ok? *leaves*  
  
All- *relieved sigh*  
  
Weevil- *playing with his now long hair* Do you think she suspects the party?  
  
Mai- *pushes her extra arms down* Naw, she'd have to see something extra especially out of the ordinary. And there isn't anything out of the ordinary going on around here.  
  
Caitlin- ^.^; Yeah...  
  
***************  
  
Director- This is junk, it won't make much of a movie if you people don't even know their lines!  
  
Joey- You got that right.  
  
All- *nods* True.  
  
Director- What could make it better? *light bulb* I got it! Commercials!  
  
All- O.o?  
  
Tristen- But everyone hates commercials!  
  
Director- ^^ Not if YOU GUYS are in them!  
  
All- O.O  
  
Director- That settles it, we'll get some commercials made before we go on to the next scene!  
  
{Knock on door}  
  
Director- Come on in.  
  
Editor- *comes in* Hi everybody!  
  
Director- *almost has a heart attack* STEVIE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!  
  
Editor- *blink* *blink* I was just coming over to see how you were doing...  
  
Director- You didn't tell me you were coming!  
  
Editor- I thought I would surprise you... *holds up bag* I brought cookie dough!  
  
Director- O.o In a bag?  
  
Editor- *shrug*  
  
Director- How, *notices cookie dough coming out of the seams of the bag* nice of you.  
  
Editor- ^^ That's just how I am!  
  
Director- *eyeing the mushy bag* Right...  
  
Editor- So...can I see it?  
  
Director- *another heart attack* What!? See what!?  
  
Editor- See the movie, what you have so far. You were bragging about it yesterday and I wanted to see it.  
  
Director- *really big sweat drop* ^_^; Well you see it's not much yet we haven't edited or anything...  
  
Editor- ^^ That's great! Because I am your editor remember? *starts to walk over to film on the table*  
  
Director- *jumps in front of her* Don't you have something better to do?  
  
Editor- No.  
  
Director- So much for that...I- uh- NO ONE CAN SEE IT BEFORE OPENING DAY! HA!  
  
Editor- O.o Oh, ok.  
  
Director- Yes so, bye!  
  
Editor- *is pushed out the door* Bye?  
  
Director- Whew!  
  
Editor- *just pops up* Why?  
  
Director- *has an almost third heart attack* How did you do that!?  
  
Editor- *shrugs*  
  
Director- *snaps fingers and Stevie appears outside*  
  
Editor- *tries to open door but it zaps her* Darn, she put on the force field for Sales people, fangirls, press, and Editors.  
  
Editor- *evil thought* Maybe I'll just have to see why she doesn't want me to see what she's doing in there. ^^  
  
@@@@@@@@@  
  
Me- Dun dun dunnnn! ^^ This chapter was long, but hopefully it was funny! Sadly, I won't be able to write a next chappie for a while, because I'm going on a vacation to Mississippi but I'll do my best! *salutes* Bye peoples! 


	5. The Dreaded Commercials of Doom!

Author- ^_____^ BACK AGAIN FROM MISSISSIPPI!  
  
Caitlin- *looks at watch* Already?  
  
Author- O.o You had to look at a watch for that?  
  
Caitlin- *shrugs*  
  
Author- ANYWAY! Thank you all my reviewers! I couldn't keep going without you all!  
  
Caitlin- O.O So you mean if they didn't review, you would stop writing? And I wouldn't have to put up with all this?  
  
Author- ¬ ¬ Don't get any ideas.  
  
Caitlin- -.-; so very close...  
  
Author- SO Caitlin, where is everyone?  
  
Caitlin- *jerks head in direction of a large box*  
  
Author- O.o  
  
Box- *loud whispering coming from underneath*  
  
Box- *more whispering, then a loud, 'SHHH!*  
  
Author- -.-;;  
  
Box- *lifts up a little so you can see pairs of feet, and then starts moving around the room*  
  
Caitlin- *rolls eyes*  
  
Author- *lifts box up from over them*  
  
All who were under the box- *look up nervously* Uh oh.  
  
Author- *snicker* Glad of you to join us.  
  
Caitlin- *smirks and starts to scoot to the door before Author notices*  
  
Author- CAITLIN DON'T YOU MOVE A MUSCLE.  
  
Joey- *points and laughs* Ha ha!  
  
Caitlin- *glares*  
  
Author- *hands out scripts* Here are the scripts for the commercials, all of you have one particular script so...yeah. The Yami's will be in these ones too due to popular demand.  
  
All Yami's- *eyes get big*  
  
Author- You can't practice, because there isn't enough time, TO THE SET!  
  
All- NOOOOOOO!  
  
Author- Look do you want to just go to the set? Or do I have to use my magic finger? *wiggles finger*  
  
All- *grumbles and goes to the set*  
  
Author- *snaps fingers and a megaphone appears* FIRST COMMERCIAL IS GOING TO BE FOR STRETCHY JEANS!  
  
Ryou- *looks his script* *face fault* Oh no...  
  
Author- AND WE'RE ROLLING!  
  
~~~~~ Stretchy Jeans ~~~~~  
  
Announcer Voice- Ever get mad at those non-stretchy jeans? They can't seem to do anything right!  
  
Ryou- *blinks* But I like-  
  
Announcer- *interrupts* Take for instance, falling down. With those 'non- stretchy' jeans, it could be very dangerous. Observe.  
  
Ryou- ;_;  
  
Announcer- I said OBSERVE.  
  
Ryou- *sigh* Oh all right.  
  
Ryou- *walks across a bridge that just appeared, (bridge compliments of Retaw) and slips on a little bit of water on the floor*  
  
Ryou- WAHHH! *almost falls off bridge, but stops horizontally in midair and is then thrown onto the ground again*  
  
Ryou- *is very confused* That was very unexpected.  
  
Announcer- As you can see, because of the non stretchiness of the jeans, Ryou was badly injured.  
  
Ryou- What?  
  
Announcer- *clears throat loudly*  
  
Ryou- *cut appears on leg (cut courtesy of Retaw)* What-? Ow!  
  
Announcer- Now let's see that action again, this time with stretchy jeans!  
  
Ryou- O.O AGAIN!?  
  
Announcer- Yes again.  
  
Ryou- *gets rewinded until he is back off the bridge (rewinding curtsey of Retaw)*  
  
Ryou- *blinks* Would it be possible for you to warn me next time you do something like that again?  
  
Announcer- NOW HE WILL WALK ONTO THE BRIDGE AND DO THE ACTION WITH THE STRETCHY JEANS.  
  
Ryou- *cringes, but walks onto the bridge and slips on the water. This time, he falls into the water below the bridge and floats away*  
  
Ryou- AAHHHH!  
  
Fangirls- RYOU!  
  
Director- I THOUGHT I SAID NO FANGIRLS!  
  
Fangirl 1- RUN!  
  
Fangirls- *run for their life*  
  
Director- Urg.  
  
Announcer- Ok, that's it.  
  
Director- Thanks Announcer person, let's go on to the next commercial.  
  
Announcer- What about that kid?  
  
Director- What kid?  
  
Announcer- The one that floated away a few minutes ago.  
  
Director- Oh Ryou? He'll be fine. How far can this river go before it just comes back down here again?  
  
*@*@*@*@*@*  
  
Ryou- *floating down the river* HELP!  
  
*@*@*@*@*@*  
  
Director- NEXT COMMERCIAL PEOPLES!  
  
~~~~~ Dangerous Cooking ~~~~~  
  
Caitlin- *in apron* Welcome to dangerous cooking! Where I make cooking unnecessarily dangerous accidentally! I'm your hostess Caitlin! And this is my personal assistant Cami! *points backstage at Cami*  
  
Cami- -.-;; Not my idea.  
  
Caitlin- *evil grin* Today we'll be cooking with potato chips!  
  
Cami- *behind stage* Potato chips?  
  
Caitlin- This is my personal recipe for Fried Potato Chips!  
  
Random Person in the Audience- Why would you want to FRY potato chips?  
  
Caitlin- *rolls eyes* BECAUSE you FRY french fries, why not potato chips? I mean, they're both made of potatoes right? Anyway, first you turn on the oven, *turns on oven* then you lay the chips- *looks around*  
  
Caitlin- Cami? Where is my bag of potato chips?  
  
Cami- *shrugs* I didn't know you brought potato chips.  
  
Caitlin- *sees bag of chips on counter* Oh, never mind! I found some chips the Director must have left behind!  
  
Director- O.o I did?  
  
Caitlin- *continues* As I was saying, you lay the chips on the top of the oven like so...and be sure to never look away from the oven because they cook in a split second and if you look away then they could catch on fire or-  
  
Cami- *still back stage* Uh, Caitlin?  
  
Caitlin- *looks away from the stove* What? *chips catch on fire*  
  
Caitlin- AHHHH! *takes retractable hose thing from sink and sprays flaming chips until they're black and very soggy*  
  
Caitlin- *wipes sweat off forehead and smiles* ^____^ Done!  
  
Audience- O.O  
  
Caitlin- *offers them* Who wants one?  
  
Audience- *backs away in their seats saying things like, 'No thanks already ate'*  
  
Caitlin- *confused* Well that was stupid of you to eat before coming to a cooking show. You want one Cami?  
  
Cami- O.O I'd rather not.  
  
Caitlin- *shrug* More for me then. *eats one and grimaces*  
  
Caitlin- *tries her hardest to smile even though it looks like she's going to puke* Mmm, so good.  
  
Joey- *knocks on door to kitchen*  
  
Caitlin- What is it?  
  
Joey- Hey Caitlin have you seen my potato chips? I think I left them in the kitchen.  
  
Caitlin- *looks down guiltily at the chips* Who is it?  
  
Joey- It's Joey!  
  
Caitlin- Sorry! Can't hear you over the- uh...blender! *turns on blender*  
  
Joey- *bangs again on door* CAITLIN! I'm hungry!  
  
Caitlin- *makes blender get louder* WHAT WAS THAT? I- CAN'T- HEAR- YOU?  
  
Joey- I NEED MY CHIPS!  
  
Caitlin- *to herself* Dispose of the evidence. *throws chips away* I haven't seen your chips.  
  
Joey- They're right there on the counter! Unlock the door and I'll show you!  
  
Caitlin- Joey you cannot come in! I'm busy! Not to mention I can't hear you so I don't know who you are!  
  
Joey- You do so know who I am!  
  
Caitlin- Do not!  
  
Joey- Do too!  
  
Caitlin- Do not!  
  
Joey- But- *pause* You ate my chips didn't you!  
  
Caitlin- *face fault* *sweet smile* That's all for today folks! *runs for her life*  
  
Joey- *burst through the door and sprints after her* GET BACK HERE YOU CHIP EATING-  
  
Caitlin- *running as fast as she can*  
  
Noise- *crashes are heard. As well as assorted screaming and cursing*  
  
Director- *rubs temples* Next commercial please.  
  
~~~~~ Interview with the King of Games ~~~~~  
  
Yami- *evil grin* Bakura has to do a toilet paper commercial and I get to do something where I get interviewed? I got the better deal hands down.  
  
Director- ROLLING!  
  
Interviewer- Today, we are interviewing the one and only, King of Games! First of all, I'd like to say it's a pleasure to interview you!  
  
Yami- ^_________^ Pleasure to be here!  
  
Bakura- *glare* *grumble*  
  
Interviewer- King of Games, are you in any way obsessed with socks?  
  
Yami- *hesitant* Uh, yes. I am indeed a little obsessed with socks.  
  
Yugi- O.o That was out of the ordinary.  
  
Interviewer- *not happy with answer* How can you be obsessed with socks!? You wore little footies attached to your pants in the whole Duelist Kingdom series for heavens sake!  
  
Yami- They are not footies they are just a newer style of jeans! You just wouldn't know because you are out of style!  
  
Interviewer- *scoff* Yeah right, in case you don't know, I am also the Fashion Expert on the station.  
  
Yami- *glare*  
  
Interviewer- ^________^ Anyway! King of Games, do you prefer Charmin Toilet paper over the other leading brand?  
  
Yami- I...I just use what's there.  
  
Interviewer- King of Games, do you prefer Kotex pads with new adjustable wings over the imitation?  
  
Yami- WHAT!? I'm a GUY!  
  
Interviewer- King of Games, boxers? Or briefs?  
  
Yami- *very angry* THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER!  
  
Interviewer- *blink* So you go commando?  
  
Yami Fangirls- *listening closely*  
  
Director- FANGIRLS! OUT!!!  
  
Yami Fangirls- *groan but leave*  
  
Yami- NO! *very VERY angry*  
  
Interviewer- More on this interview at 11-  
  
Yami- NO THERE WILL NOT BE MORE! I AM DONE!  
  
Interviewer- B-b-but boxers or briefs? Or commando if that's your style.  
  
Yami- Where is my agent!? This humiliation is just the straw that breaks the camel's back! Answering silly, meaningless questions is one thing BUT I REFUSE TO ANSWER ANY MORE JUST PLAIN STUPID QUESTIONS!  
  
Interviewer- There's a difference?  
  
Yami- Yes there's a- will- you- AH! *words getting stuck in his mouth*  
  
Interviewer- *grumbles* You didn't even answer the questions right...  
  
Announcer- THIS COMMERCIAL BROUGHT TO YOU BY CHARMIN TOILET PAPER!  
  
Bakura- *smirk* That was defiantly amusing.  
  
Director- You are easily amused. You could cut your leg up and be amused for hours. And besides *grin* now it's your turn!  
  
Bakura- O.O  
  
~~~~~ Charmin Toilet Paper ~~~~~  
  
Bakura- *is sitting on a toilet, you can't see from his waist down* THIS IS-  
  
Director- I don't care what it is, you're doing it. So smile to the camera and start talking.  
  
Bakura- *evil glare*  
  
Director- SMILE!  
  
Bakura- *closest thing to a smile without being a smirk. It looks more like a pout with the tiniest bit of a smile hidden in it*  
  
Director- *rolls eyes* Fine, it that's the best you can give me, we're rolling.  
  
Bakura- WHAT!?  
  
Director- Go!  
  
Bakura- *very unenthusiastically* Buy Charmin Toilet paper because it's better then the others.  
  
Director- *looks at own version of the script* That's not what the script says, but sadly, I think it's the best I'm going to be able to get you to do without killing me.  
  
Bakura- *rebellious smirk* *nod*  
  
Director- Now tell them how much it is.  
  
Bakura- And why should I!? Are they just too lazy to walk up to the store and see for themselves?! Give me a break!  
  
Director- *groan* Just- just do that theme song.  
  
Bakura- *king of all eye rolls* Cha cha cha Charmin.  
  
Director- Not CHarmin! It makes a SH noise like SHoe not a CH noise like CHimney!  
  
Bakura- Then why the hell did you put it next to the CHa CHa CHa's!?  
  
Director- Not me! (Retaw does not own Charmin toilet paper)  
  
Bakura- Then why am I even bothering to do the commercial!  
  
Director- You just are ok!?  
  
Bakura- That's it. I'm done. *gets up from toilet and bottom half is blurred out*  
  
Fangirls- *whistle*  
  
Director- HOW ARE THESE DANG FANGIRLS GETTING IN HERE!?  
  
Fangirls- *disappear because Director used her magic finger*  
  
Director- *sigh* So hard to get descent help these days...  
  
Bakura- I HEARD THAT!  
  
Director- GOOD! I HOPED YOU- *runs out of tape*  
  
~~~~~ Ready to Wash ~~~~~  
  
Yugi- *on pool deck in bathing suit*  
  
Director- *takes a look around to make sure there aren't any fangirls* ^^ My trap is working perfectly!  
  
*$*$*$*$*$*  
  
[ In a hallway, there is a sign set up that says, 'Free Dates with the YGO people sign up list this way! - ]  
  
Editor- *is in the hallway and looking at sign* O.o  
  
Editor- *follows the arrow* *falls into a long LOOONG tunnel thingy that was in the floor*  
  
Editor- *tunnel drops her into a big cage filled with other fangirls in it* O.o  
  
Fangirl 2- ;_; I JUST WANTED A DATE WITH YUGI!  
  
Editor- -.-;;  
  
*$*$*$*$*$*  
  
Director- OK YUGI! WE'RE ROLLING!  
  
Yugi- *nods* *is holding a towel* ^^ This towel makes me feel so happy!  
  
Tea- *comes on* ^^ Why?  
  
Yugi- *opens mouth, but can't think of an answer* Uh...  
  
Yugi- *to director* Why does it make me feel happy again?  
  
Director- *groan* Because it's laundered with 'Ready to Wash'.  
  
Yugi- Oh. *louder* Because it's been laundered with *dramatic pause* READY TO WASH!  
  
Tea- *over enthusiastically* ^___^ What's that Yugi?  
  
Yugi- *shrug* I dunno, laundry stuff?  
  
Tea- *eye roll* I got that part.  
  
Yugi- Then why'd you ask the stupid question?  
  
Director- Knock it off you guys! Here Yugi, read off this. *sets up teleprompter that says, 'YUGI'S LINES' on it*  
  
Yugi- 'Kay. *reads it, sounds just like he's reading it*  
  
Yugi- Its- the- best- laundry detergent- I- have- ever- had.  
  
Director- . Oh boy.  
  
Tea- Why is it the best?  
  
Yugi- *forgets that the thing is set up for him and can't remember line* Because it just is.  
  
Tea- That wasn't the line Yugi.  
  
Yugi- Well- I- Sure it was!  
  
Tea- Sorry, but it wasn't. Your line is, 'It's the best-'  
  
Yugi- I think I'd know what my own line is Tea!  
  
Director- *leans head against hand and sighs whilst Tea and Yugi bicker* ;_; And that's not even all of them.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Author- SO...That's it so far! If you have an idea for a commercial you'd like to see one of your favorite characters in, just tell me! Cause I ran out of ideas... -.-;;  
  
Caitlin- Pathetic.  
  
Author- ¬ ¬ ANYHOO, tell me how you like the fic! I would LOVE to get your input! The next chapter will be the remainder of the commercials, then I'll be getting right back to the Sleeping Beauty story! ^^ Chow all!  
  
R&R with your ideas for commercials! 


End file.
